watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
