If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
