so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
