What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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