eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
