If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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