I accidentally had phone sex last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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