What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
