i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
