new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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