I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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