I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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