i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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