I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
