i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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