Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
