I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
