Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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