When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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