DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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