I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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