Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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