I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
