I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He? As in you personified your dick?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
