I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
