i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
