I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
