I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
