I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
