I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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