im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
