I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
