this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
