Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
