If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
