Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
