The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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