Do you still have your period?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
