Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
