If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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