just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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