but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
