my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
