After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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