Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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