my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This is the high leading the old right now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
