It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Someone signed my nipple.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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