love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
