My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
