We're like a lot better than the average bears
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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