My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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