if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
