This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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